The Making of a Loser

So you go into the LYS and talk to the resident helper. She's the one with the bad attitude and who could reduce even the strongest among us to tears, but you suck up to her just to keep the peace and make sure you'll be able to feel comfortable enough to shop on all the days the shop is open...even when she is there.

Anyway, you're under the gun to come up with a few new designs for a book proposal, and being a newbie-designer and not really knowing anything at all, you'll listen to just about everyone.

You'll listen to everyone but your very own gut.

So I had this thing in my mind about a wrappy number that is tied under the bust, you know: something you can throw on in a pinch and be ever so inspired. A muse, if you will.

....Something that would go with the Hermes driving mocs or maybe your vintage Guccis. Something that would look just about right in your cottage kitchen, the one that just so happens to be on the Rhine somewhere in France or wherever that is. (Something like Napa, but much more exotic and without loads of cars whizzing by.)

Anyhow. I stopped by the LYS on the wrong day while I had the itch. I was under the gun to do a new thing for the proposal (only have two sweaters and a cap...oh, the pain), and decided to ask the gal, the one with the so-so attitude, what she would do.

My first mistake.

My second mistake was to fall for the "just feel it, it's such a soft yarn!" spiel.

What's up with that anyway? About 99 percent of the time when someone is telling you about a nice yarn, something they love, they'll usually say, "and it is soooo soft!"

...or, you'll be telling them about something you're knitting and the first question that comes out of their mouths will be, "...but is it soft?"

You know what? I don't want to hear about the "Is it Soft" thing anymore. This will no longer be the numero uno selling point. Sure, you want something that won't scratch your skin off, but you want something that knits up nicely too, don't you? Don't you also want something that will hold its shape? Or that is crisp when it should be, and fluffy when it should be, too?

But El Fluffo on Crack isn't what I expected. When she told me "soft," I heard "soft," but I also heard, "this will be the end of all your designing problems. You will fall in love again. You will be whole. This is your ever most and ultimate desire. This is the coup de gras. The cookie topper. The Living End, Darling." (Never mind the $9.00 a ball price point...and her suggestion that I buy 8 skeins. Talk about taking advantage of a woman down on her creativity.)

I was so wrong. But at least this latest nightmare is versatile.

And the best thing of all is, it won't be in any book of mine. And I promise, I won't peddle it off to any of you.

(And no, I'm not pregnant. It's just that my pants are falling down.)

Comments

[Cheri]

Well, the color is pretty....and you're pretty....and girlfriend is pretty. I'll happily buy any book you choose to write (would you autograph it for me too?)

[KatieLiz]

Oh dear, in the first pic, you look like you're trying oh-so-hard not to fart and in the second pic, it looks like Girlfriend smells something bad... So sorry your creation turned out to be such a stinker. I hope you'll unknit it and try something new, the color is gorgeous.

[marion]

I agree, it is a nice color. But soft without any other redeeming qualities is definitely overrated.
What do you think about that yarn and that stitch pattern as a wide rectangular shawl, though? If it's froggable, at least.

[jillian]

Jaunty. That is the only word that comes to mind. Jaunty. :)

[Kaity]

I agree with Cheri, Everything else is pretty! Maybe Girlfriend can use it as.... something to play with... i dunno. I got no good suggestions or witty things to say, i'm sleepy.

[gina L]

Good Idea Wendy, stick with it. I totally got your vision! Hermes Orange draped elegantly over her frame, sporting driving mocs en suite. She carried a fresh baguette from le patisere under the arm as she dashed back to the chateau for "déjeuner lége" I know I got carried away.... dreaming...
I have travel lust right now.

[Sherry]

Oh, what a gorgeous house you have!

The color of the shawl is just lovely. And I would love it as a scarf.

[spaazlicious (wendy)]

It looks like a mini-ruana--it is too bad the yarn has crap definition, but I wouldn't call it a loss. Especially not considering all the patterns we've seen out there not even worthy to lick this wrap's boots. If it had boots. And since you've likely seen some of the patterns I'm thinking of that probably doesn't comfort you much, but really, I've seen worse. I've seen people go apeshit with desire over much worse. I wouldn't write it off just yet.

[Mary]

Ditch the yarn, keep the design. I agree w/spaazlicious above, mini Ruana but much more fun to knit as it has a pattern to follow. Now, just start askin' others what kind of yarn it SHOULD be knit with...

[Debbie]

Well maybe you could use your stitch pattern for a long scarf with that yarn. I know, not really exciting for you but the stitches looked good with the cross your heart look.
Very funny pictures.

You should tell the owner about the awful clerk!

[graylagran]

so, how soft IS it? i appreciate you sharing the losers. i was almost seduced by a very soft yarn last night ... baby camel ... $13/ball and ONLY 25gr. i was strong and resisted!
i do love a good wrappy thingy, they are so versatile, and always in fashion ... even with my birks.

[Cathy]

It does look soft! And you are gorgeous in it.

[Celia]

First of Happy New Year!!!

I come to your blog on almost a daily basis. It's my favorite...yet another beautiful piece. I hope to become as good as you one day :-).

Well best wishes in the upcoming year to you and your family. And looking forward to more wonderful knits.

Happy Knitting!

[Miz Booshay]

Looks like a perfect blankie to me :o)
I sure enjoyed all of the pictures!
Can't have winners without losers :o)

[zib]

You make your "losers" look fab. I make my losers like my needles should be confiscated. You make me giggle.

[uglyagnes]

I really like the idea though!

[Mama-E]

At least you have kept true to yur sense of humor. Maybe stay away from the LYS on the days she works? :)
Much support on the book proposal. Your writing and knitting keep me entertained. I would buy it in a heartbeat!
Happy New Year!

[Donna P]

Girlfriend is a doll!

Love the Klimt.

The yarn and color of your "project" is great. The project itself, not so much.

Happy New Year, Wendy!

[puppymomma]

It's a wrap! It's a scarf! It's a hat! No, wait, wait, it's a bird! A plane?

I do like the stitch pattern and the color though. And you model it well. So here's what I'd do. Frog it, stuff the yarn deep in my stash and meditate on what it will become next, meanwhile knitting up something great with something else. Maybe one day it will get knit again. Maybe.

[Roxanne]

I'm new to your blog and I must say...love your story about listening and going against your gut on this one...cute pictures too! I love the colour on you...good choice there...so maybe you can make something else with it? It is SOFT after all...LOL

[pixie]

are you going to try it again in another yarn?

[amanda]

I guess I'm a weirdo, I like it. (just the first photo though!)

[Kitty Kitty]

Wendy, if you are still thinking about a wrap that converts to other things you might want to look at Maggie Irelands designs for some inspirations. Her designs are not for everyone, but some of her designs are pretty brilliant with their construction and multiple uses.

http://www.maggiknits.com/books/book5.asp#

For example the blue skirt there can be worn as a skirt, wrap, kimono top, shawl, couch throw, and a somewhat normal sweater.

[Lizbon]

I hear your $9 x 8 pain. I was once seduced by a melty-soft single-ply Merino. Now I have a sweater that feels oh so very soft and looks like a shedding red carpet. The wool flakes off in huge sheets, bigger than any sweater shaver could begin to tackle.

After that, I wasn't so excited about cloudlike yarn at $12 a skein. This woman is clearly used to advising beginning knitters who need to be persuaded that knitting is a pleasant pastime (ha!) - or she's getting kickbacks from the manufacturers of high-ticket mush.

[Michele]

I too think the pattern would work with another yarn - can't help wondering about Kidsilk Haze? Or...? You are a great designer!