Man-Rules and a Free Pattern

Some days I wonder how men can get away with spending so much time in the bathroom.

Us girls, well, we're in there for however long it takes, and that however long it takes is typically 20 minutes fewer than the man's version of however long it takes.

So I'm wondering if I should start taking my knitting to the bathroom with me? I suppose the man-rules won't apply to me, so I won't have a never-ending allotment of bathroom time. I can only imagine that I'll be reported and someone would call the authorities or the the police, child protective services or maybe the paramedics if I spend more than, say, one-half minute in that little room.

Back in the day when I worked in a big corporation (the little corporations I worked for apply to this, too), the guys thought nothing of rolling up a newspaper or magazine and sauntering over to the little room. Decades would pass before they alighted. Calls would come in and we'd all know that they were currently "indisposed" (reading or maybe just sitting there or passing the time) and that the call would have to be returned later. Same goes for fire drill.

Why is it the other sex has this "I have to go now" privilege? Would I be in trouble if I took my "I have to go now time and knit?" If I did, wouldn't it be a hoot?

Better get a cushy toilet seat cover, or maybe knit one for myself. (Actually I was thinking about designing one for laughs.) Oy. Of all the things.

Oh, here's the Alchemy Bamboo swatch that I kept knitting and knitting and knitting. Once I got to about 49 inches I decided the swatch was a head wrap thing. So take a look at the sidebar, Free Patterns. It's there for you, should you decide you have one skein of something wonderful. I'm calling it Dream Swatch. Because it is.

Comments

[Michele]

Thanks for the pattern! And, I was appalled when someone finally told me, at my former corporation, that the newspapers in the cafe area were regularly taken by the men to the bathroom - ew! Never touched them again (the newspapers).

[Michele]

Not that I touched the men, either...

[Melissa]

That's so awesome. I thought it looked so interesting when you started the swatch. Now, if only I can find some interesting yarn to make one of my own!

[Erika]

I always figure, anyone who's willing to spend that much time sitting in a bathroom - more power to you!

Myself, I stick with loitering in the kitchen while pretending to get coffee. (Because you have to wash the cup, and select the creamers, and stir everything thoughtfully, and so forth.)

[Jen]

I was eyeing that swatch when you first started... thanks for sharing!!! Love the yarn you used too.

[Sherry]

Oooh, Dream Swatch is the perfect name for it because this pattern allows me to buy that one precious ball of expensive expensive yarn and actually use it for something. It's such a pretty pattern too, unlike other one-ball patterns. *cough, Lion Brand, cough*

I don't spend forever on the toilet but I do spend ages in the shower. Part of it is because I'm in the middle of a book that I just can't put down and so I stand there with one foot in and one foot out of the tub. And the other part of it is that running water just feels so good, you know?

[Sarah the DomesticOverlord]

Awesome! That's exactly what I was looking for for my unruly hair. I just hope I can pull it off like you do. Oh to be thin and blonde on the beach in Malibu, sigh. I guess settling for zaftig and dark on the beach next to Tijuana will have to do.

[Michelle]

I work with young children and we have am emergency signal for when we get too close to a breaking point (picture 12-15 girl/boyfriends without naps...in one room!). It sounds like this: "I'm just going to the washroom."
Oh the time I have spent just breathing with my eyes closed in bathrooms over the years (only when the air is fresh of course!)
It is true though - more men than women take advantage of being "indisposed" .
Knitting in the bathroom though...I think I am too paranoid of germs for that - that whole keeping your toothbrush 4 ft from the toilet has freaked me out!

On an unrelated note: What a gorgeous bangle/bracelet. Utterly stunning.

Oh and the Dream Swatch looks really good on you. You model, you.

[girliejones]

I thought it was just my male you can saunter off and be in the bathroom for the time it takes me to turn a heel and watch a sitcom and a half. I thought it was a physical thing! I don;t understand why you would *Want* to sit there for that long? Aren't there more pleasant places to read a book?

I've never really understood it but glad it isn't just me!

I love the headwrap BTW!

[Isela]

I really don't know how they can sit on the throne for so long....--but maybe they believe that if they are in there making some noise and some odifereous gaseous potent stuff that the kids will leave them alone....I know my kids don't dare go by the bathroom when Dad is in there, but that doesn't work for me. It appears that if I try to go the kids just follow and stay outside the door--I don't know...maybe is the whole newspaper thing

[Lynae]

I used to have a boss that would spend 10-10:30 there everyday....but would get pissy if another man walked in the bathroom. Ummm, it is a PUBLIC toilet?

Thankfully, I didn't marry a bathroom reader.

Hmmmmmm, I joined the One Skein swap sponsored by Interweave....this might be just the thing! It is BEAUTIFUL!

[Ella]

Love the head wrap. Now I have an excuse to buy a skein of bamboo, and one of silk, have to have two wraps, one for the week and one for weekends!
Thanks!

[Miranda]

mmm... thanks for the pattern! coincidentally, I just bought a skein of Alchemy bamboo from Knit
Happens, where it's on sale (go check it out!)

[Chris R.]

I'm so excited! I haven't knitted anything in a while, just kinda in a funk. But I am sitting here at work wondering if I have any yarn at home that I could use to make this scarf that I will use as a belt! I don't think I have anything so I may have to take a trip to the LYS and get me some! Thanks for pattern!

[Michelle S.]

Do you have a window into my life? You were describing my husband, weren't you? It's so bad that now my 3 sons are spending hours in there (one is 14 years old.......). It can be compared to a household with 3 daughters just change the toilet to a telephone. I literally have to "fight" for time in the bathroom.....

[kate]

I keep a sock in the bathroom to work on and I do go in there and hide and knit. I was just thinking about posting about this last night! Freaky.

[Julie]

Okay, here's the funniest Guy in the Bathroom story I know. There's a Japanese fellow at my husband's work who
(a) takes off his pants in the stall and hangs them on the hook so that you can see them dangling there from the outside
(b) brings a warm washcloth into the stall with him for uknown purposes
-and-
(c) wastes about a bathtub's worth of water in "courtesy flushes" so that no one else in the bathroom can hear a bit of what's going on in there.

So it could be worse!

[wendy]

I feel refreshed just knowing what to do with my two, different colored skeins of bamboo!

But must comment on the Japanese bathroom thing: so, in a chi-chi Tokyo department store, using the "western" style toilet, I spent a good twenty minutes checking out the buttons on the toilet seat. Warm water wash, cool water wash, and, get this, a button just to make noise!

I guess living in that crowded little country, you get kinda private about letting others hear you..

[Jen D.]

Thanks for another great pattern! Now I finally have something worthy of my solo skein of varigated SWTC bamboo. Now to dig it out of my stash...

Oh, and I still laugh when I think of the Law & Order SVU episode where Det. Munch referred to the bathroom as the "porcelain reading room."

[Amanda]

I have been asking myself that same question about men and their thrones for years. It's like they are able to just take a time out from life for however long they want as long as it is in that room.

[marnie]

I don't know about you, but my feeling is that anything that goes into the WC, stays there. I just can't imagine taking my knitting in and possibly allowing it to leave again. Eesh. I do wish we had some way to take that same time and apply it elsewhere, though :)

[Cheri]

I've never travelled, but the husband has been all over the world. He always mentions the bathrooms, but he's never said anything about the button that just makes noise (he goes to Japan regularly and will go again next week, I'm going to tell him to look for that button). I'm just happy to get to use the bathroom without the kids, dogs or cat finding me!

That yarn is gorgeous.

[gleek]

cool handband! the stitch pattern looks complicated but fun. i'll have to give it a shot with one of my leftover skeins :)

[Angela]

Heh. I knit on the pot sometimes: http://stitch.kittytime.net/?p=24

[Wendy]

Angela, you crack me up.