knit and tonic

Trying on an In-Progress Sweater is Like Standing on the Scale.

Knitting can be such a crap shoot. Sure, you can knit a little doll or maybe a dog blanket on the fly and it turns out great but when it comes to knitting--for yourself, especially--you might find, after you do try it on, it is time for a cocktail.

Or, in my case, fewer cocktails. I am usually a size six, sometimes a four and sometimes a two (due to vanity sizing at the likes of The Gap, et al, which is another subject altogether and in my mind they need to banish it, big time, sheesh).

So, here we go: I'm knitting along with a class I'm teaching. It's all about knitting round-yoke top-down sweaters. We're doing the math and trying on as we go. Thing is, I let my personal duct tape dummy go a few months ago during a closet clean-out and decided to use my trusty dress form (dress size six) that I use when I design for books/magazines. This usually works well for me because I know that whatever sample I'm making needs to be a little snug on the dress form. But for me? Uh. . . a little looser . . . in the middle section.

But as of today, I have decided that I've let myself go. I guess I figured that as long as my upper arms, bust and thighs haven't changed that I'm all good.

I'm not.

It's my middle.

I'm owning up:

Just like I told my sister when she first became pregnant and had morning sickness, "No matter how sick you feel, the good news is, being pregnant means that for the first time in your life you'll relax your abs."

My problem is, it has been nine years since Girlfriend was born and I'm still relaxing them.

(I don't like how I finished the bottom, so I'm ripping and re-knitting. Plus, I'll add a couple inches. My belly hiked that sucker up way higher than I thought it would. This is why trying an in-progress sweater onto your own body and not your perfectly shaped dress form is worth the extra five minutes of your time.)

BTW: This is Cascade Eco. I love that it has taken one skein so far. I'll use the second one (just a tiny bit of it) to finish the sleeves. I think they'll be short.

Making Stuff

My heart broke for Girlfriend last night when she discovered that what she had in mind to sew (a stuffed bear with button eyes) didn't turn out the way she wanted it to. When she showed it to me I asked her what it was. She said a bear. I said, "you mean the type of bear you see on the flag of California?" and she said not that kind, but a teddy bear.

Ooops.

And we sort of stared into each others eyes for a moment and I saw hers start to tear up. "Does it make you sad that it doesn't look like you thought it could, or how it would?"

So, I sat down with her, took some more felt, and gave her a little help on another one. This time, it turned out a little better and she took it to school this morning to show her friends.

Problem is, this sort of thing happens to all of us, at all ages. It's kind of like discovering that those Sea Monkeys really don't wear those crowns and they're just icky brine shrimp, instead. As an adult it happens to me constantly, like when I buy some lovely fabric and a great pattern and it comes out looking like a potato sack. Or, spending all day dreaming of how fantastic a particular knit object will look when it finishes blocking . . . and it turns out to be a total flop.

I guess that's the way things go sometimes.

But there are other times when making things is so fun and comes so effortlessly that you never ever forget the joy. I guess that's why we continue to "create."

Easter Eggs without a Paas Box (the way I like them, and they turn out waaaay better)

What you'll need: coffee mugs or small bowls, assorted food coloring, white vinegar, vegetable oil (for marbling the eggs) and tap water

All you do is this: Put about 20 drops of food coloring in each vessel. You can combine colors to customize if you want to. Then, put in a tablespoon or a little more of vinegar into each. Add room temperature tap water and blend. Then, if you want to have marbled eggs, float a little vegetable oil on top.

And if you want to pre-dye your eggs before adding a marbled layer, dye them without the oil first, then add the oil later, then re-dip. You can experiment by dipping and then rubbing the color off with a rag. That one on the table in the front was done that way.

BTW: I have nothing against those Paas boxes, but somehow, the fancy pictures on the boxes never match the final product.

Stinking at the Gym

I am always astonished at what people will do even though they know that others might be watching. You know me, I'm always watching the folks at the gym (there's not a whole heck of a lot of other choices of things to do, you know) and this guy next to me on the treadmill casually pulled up his shirt and removed a huge neoprene stomach wrap. A wet neoprene wrap! I mean, not only had this guy been running for awhile so he was sweaty, worse, he just draped it over the top of the machine and continued to run!

If I don't post for two or three weeks in a row, call an ambulance because that means I must have died from a weird gym-induced horror.

But it got me thinking: People are forever either underestmating or overestimating their size.

Give me a second here to explain. That guy was a skinny dude. He didn't need that neoprene thingy and we all know they don't work. Those belts, they pretty much nearly kill you from sweating to death or get so stinky over time that you repel even the kindest of people not including two people I know who lost their sense of smell from getting hit on the head (True Wendy fact. I know two people, count 'em, two people, whose sense of smell went missing from a head injury).

So when I was teaching a class this weekend, one where I'm showing people how to do a top-down round-yoke pullover without a pattern, just about every single knitter overestimated either their neck opening and/or armhole depth.

Now, I admit I've been designing and grading patterns from the smallest to the mid-plus-size range for awhile, but it amazed me how hard it is to look at yourself without first putting the image through your own personal prism.

Personally, I always estimate myself as smaller than I really am--not sure why; it could be total and complete denial--so while the knitters in class tended to err on the side of bigger I'm sure that everyone has their own vision of themselves that affects the outcome of their projects.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm getting at except to say that if you're measuring yourself for a sweater, to have a helper there to double-check your estimates. You might be surprised what you discover.

And if you don't take anything at all away from this post here's another a tip: Forget about those neoprene thingys. They stink.

BTW: This is my class project in progress. I truly believe that it's a good thing to knit a project along with the class. It helps the students to visualize where they're going, not to mention, I learn a lot while doing it with them, too.

It Takes a Village

I just sat here for about 30 minutes wondering if it is okay if I showed you what I did this weekend, because it's not knitting. I have been given a dressing down a few times the past several years about posting "off topic," but you know what? I don't care. You and I know I do plenty of knitting and heck, I'm not only a knitter and neither are you.

You are a reader, and you probably do more than just sit and knit, as well. And I imagine if you have stuck with me long enough you know that when I'm under a knitting/publishing deadline that avoidance is my best friend. So, you must likely understand.

And before I tell you what we did, let me say this first: My long-term goal before I die is to learn how to tap dance. Even though I have done nothing to further the goal, I have definitely mastered jazz hands.

But I do have other short-term goals. These usually come up suddenly. Maybe I see something online, you know how it is. So, since I still don't have a venue to tap dance in (or someone to teach me) this weekend we made a succulent wreath, something that I have been wanting to make for at least a week. I also made a terrarium. (More on that another day but check it out.)

First, I already have a huge jade plant that I took from my mom's backyard after her funeral. That thing has been snipped and passed around to my friends and family and now resides allover the joint. We call her "Marilyn," after my mom. If you aren't so lucky to have such a bounty or want some extra variety, you can totally sneak around the neighborhood in the middle of the night and snip off tips of jade plants and whatever else you can get before getting caught. Then, you can buy a few cheapies from the local nursery to supplement. Also, ask your girlfriend from Long Beach to bring some of her clippings, too, and ask her to show Girlfriend how the leaves separate from the stalk of the succulent like beads.

Then, buy a huge bag of that moss stuff. I always just put it on top of my houseplants, but what you need to do is get some water in a pail and toss handfuls of it in and let it soak, and then squeeze out a little water and put it in the form.

After that's all done, pack it in a tube real well and then decorate your wreath.

The jade plant clippings in this wreath are from my "Marilyn" plants. 

There are also a lot of others too. Some of it is "Sherry, the One Who Had an Ambulance in Front the Other Day." Some of it is "That Guy who Ripped the Tree out with His Bare Hands" and there's a smattering of "Nasty Neighbor." (Just kidding . . . I think.)

Post Traumatic Book Disorder

It took me about 12 hours to get used to this.

Yesterday, the UPS man drove up the street. I had the TV blaring in at least two rooms (Beverly Hills 90210 on the DVR...ABC killed all my favorite soaps) but I knew he was on his way up the hill because all three dogs started barking and ran to the door anticipating dog treats from Kyle, our UPS guy.

Anyway, this is what he left me.

I had no idea.

The book is due out in May but I got an advance copy already. I was in such shock that I set it aside and made dinner. Then I took a bath. After a little while, I broke down in tears.

I can't say what exactly my feelings are. Maybe disbelief, relief, joy, dread? I have no idea. I've been on a wild ride. Three books since 2008. And the past few weeks I have been sitting up here working on a fourth. It's due in October and I don't even know how I will do it. Wait: I take that back: I will do it. I can crank out stuff like it's no body's  business.

I can crank out stuff like it is no body's business because, see? See that title up there in the picture? It is backwards. A mirror image. Sure, I could go in Photoshop and flip it but I won't. The backwards title just doesn't matter that much to me. There are bigger fish to fry, in my mind. Kind of like knitting: You want to stress out about an urgent need for a special cast on? Ask the lady who wrote that 700-plus page knitting techniques book, instead. She'll have plenty of answers for you. But, if you ask me, I'm likely going to say: "Heh, whatever works for you."

And if you ask me how long I cook my pot roast, I will say: "Until it is done."

I had my hair done today (see how nice and straight it is?), the assistant told me, after I told her about a panic attack I had on a ride at Disneyland that landed me in the Disneyland Hospital for five hours, that she counts things: "Speaking of that ride? Did you know that there are exactly six right turns and only one left one on that particular ride? And that there are 22 stairs leading to my alma mater's library but only 21 if you go out the back exit!?"

Then I said: "The only things I count in my house are the stairs, but only when I go downstairs . . . in the dark. Otherwise, I never count."

But now, I'm stiting here thinking. There are a few other things I do count:

• How many minutes there are until I absolutely have to turn the lights out and go to sleep
• How many years it has been since I last heard my mother's voice
• The number of yards I used to knit a project that will be published
• The number of seconds between lightning and thunder so I know how far away or close a storm is
• How old Chuck is

Other than that, I don't count too much.

BTW: We are launching a KAL for Custom Knits 2 in the Ravelry Knit and Tonic Knitters Group. It will go through May and as a kick-off, I am giving away a signed copy of the book (If you are interested, leave a quick comment here by Monday morning). Along the way, there will be yarn prizes, and in May, when the KAL ends, for those who have posted a finished item from the book, I will do a giveaway of three copies of this latest book, Custom Knits Accessories.

If you're not a Ravelry user, never worry. I'll have giveaways on the blog, too.

(And if you're wondering, this newest book, by far, is my favorite. It just is.)

Extra Yarn a Review by Girlfriend--First Guest Blog Post Ever!

"This is a story about a remarkable girl named Annabelle who knit things for things that don't even need sweaters.

She made sweaters for dogs, cats, birds, trees, a pick-up truck, birdhouses, mailboxes and a house.

Sometimes dogs need sweaters, same thing with other animals, but mostly not.

Especially houses do not need sweaters.

It is a very strange thing to make sweaters for houses.

The pictures in the book are mostly black and white but the sweaters are colorful.

To me, this means that the main thing in the story is the yarn and the sweaters.

Yarn and sweaters are good things. Yarn and sweaters make people happy. Happy people should get yarn and sweaters. Sad people should get yarn and sweaters, but not mean people. My mom loves yarn and sweaters. Trees should get sweaters even though they do not need them. Trees make me happy.

I love the book. I like the book. I have read the book three times by now."

--by Girlfriend.

BTW: I typed this for her. Otherwise, we would have been here at this desk for 10 hours. Every word was her own, though.

The Principles of Knitting, a Non-Pithy Review

To tell you the truth, I have had this book in my possession for a couple of weeks now, although it was released yesterday. As you know, bloggers are often asked by a publisher to review a book and when I was asked to review this one, I thought "why not"?

The thing is, this book, The Principles of Knitting, is totally overwhelming to someone like me.

To give you an example, just the other day I was in a yarn store and I asked a few people about interchangeable needles since I've never used them let alone touched them too much. The room went quiet and three pair of mouths formed "O's" and the owner whispered: "You don't have any?" as if I had five eyes.

Nope. I don't have interchangeables. I don't seem to have proper scissors, either. I don't even have half of the things that other knitters seem to have, want or need. Like a fleshed-out library of how-to books or reference materials beyond several stitch pattern books. To me, knitting is just a lot of fun and has happened to become a business. I knit continentally and I don't use straight needles ever (don't have any; I just have circs and some dpn's). I don't have a blocking board although I just received blocking needles from a friend as a gift. I use two types of cast on's: Long Tail and Cable (but only if I need to) and once in awhile I'll use Long Tail Provisional. And if I need a cable needle in a pinch, I'll go find a skewer and break it. I do own cable needles; friends, things aren't that bad, but I never have one handy and for some reason, there are loads of skewers in this joint. And we don't eat kabobs.

I'm a simple girl. I just cast on and see where it takes me. I don't need fancy cast on's or stretchy ones, well maybe I do need a stretchy cast on or bind off, but it never occurred to me so why should I?

So, this Principles of Knitting book is a big book to take on. But I did.

Did you know that there are things called Axis Cables? These cables are made with three sets of stitches rather than your usual two and the center section of stitches remain in position while the ones on each sides cross. You use two cable needles for these and in my case, should I work an Axis Cable, I would need two broken skewers.

Intarsia, probably my least favorite thing to do, has an entire section. And I guess it should if you are going to be thorough. She covers Basic Intarsia, Intarsia with Stranded Patterns, Small Scale Intarsia, Slip-Stranded Intarsia (slip-stranded?), Woven Intarsia, Circular Intarsia Worked in Rows (huh?), you get the idea.

June Hemmons Hiatt is a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you. This book is so meaty, so detailed, that my guess is you could--just like asking your iPhone Siri a random question and getting a pithy answer--come up with some left-toenail and random subject that just *might* be related to knitting and totally find the answer in this giant tome (a whopping 712 pages).

Except for being a little afraid of its contents (do I really need to know any more than three or so types of cast ons? What about swatching? Do I need to "dress it" as she says or is it okay to just block it any old way?), I think people who love reference materials and want something super comprehensive, will love this book. If you do, you won't need anything else reference-wise except maybe some supplementary books like Knitting From the Top by Barbara Walker and a couple stitch pattern books. It really is that comprehensive.

I will warn you, however, she does have some knitting handles of her own. For example, she calls continental knitting the "Left-Handed Method," and writes/insinuates that people who knit top-down and in the round do so to avoid purling, which could be marginally true in some people's cases but, hello. It's just knitting and if you want to avoid purling I'm not going to point fingers or anything else at you. Heck, I use skewers to hold stitches. Who am I to talk?

In the end, however; I am sure, in spite of my tendency to shut down when confronted with too much at one time, that I will get a ton of use out of this book.

Note that this is a follow-up and re-vamped version of an earlier edition. I don't have access to it so I can't tell you how it has changed, but from other people's comments I think the tone is a bit lighter than the first and she addresses circular knitting and top-down knitting a little bit more than before.

I Must Have Some Knitting to Do

. . . otherwise I wouldn't be doing everything BUT knitting.

This weekend, I spent some time with old friends working on our balls. Let me tell you, you'd think we're a bunch of teenagers the way we giggle about these, but who could help but giggle? I mean, if someone were just passing by and overheard even a third of what we mutter while we work, they'd be in stitches.

"How's your ball coming along?"

"How many balls do you have now?"

"My ball is driving me nuts! The stitches keep slipping around."

"I like to work a four-incher because those two-incher's are too difficult to hold." 

"Really? You like the four-inchers? I prefer smaller balls."

"What yarn and batting do you like to use for your balls?"

"Here, take this needle and try it on your balls. It's the perfect length."

Seriously. We've said it all with straight faces and then it becomes too much and we fall over laughing.

If you're interested, these are called Temari thread balls and they aren't very difficult to stitch. One will usually take me about a day's work. There are loads of how-to books available on Amazon and elsewhere.

And if you have to ask me what they're for, please don't. Because if you do, all I will tell you is that not everything has to be useful. Sometimes it is nice to make something beautiful just "because." (And it doesn't hurt that stitching these balls in a group can be, at times, hilarious.)

 

I Was Just Thinking

about the very first person for whom I knit. The first person I knit for. I remember the thing that I knit for him. It rolled like a son of a gun but he didn't care. At that time, I didn't know that stockinette, you know, knit on one side and purl on the other, without some sort of edging, will roll. Every time. As sure as the sun will rise the next day or that one day you'll die, any stockinette will roll. It just will. But at 18 years of age, and after a cumulative 10 hours of knitting under my belt, I didn't know. Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet. In those days, you'd have to call up your grandmother or something.

But I knit for him a scarf that rolled. It was also about 20 feet long. I remember one day he was going to take me on a hot air balloon trip for my birthday and I presented it to him at about 5:00 a.m. that morning. I took a picture of him with it wrapped all around his neck, grinning. He loved it. Of course he appreciated it. He was an artist.

He came here from the midwest to live with his dad who promised that once he graduated from high school that he and his new wife would pay for his education. My boyfriend, he was super smart and got into all the colleges he chose. Thing is, he told his dad that he wanted to study art. His dad wouldn't have it and promptly kicked him out of the house.

So my boyfriend, still wanting to pursue art, took on as many jobs as he could so he could go to the local community college and study. One of his jobs was climbing up in the rafters of old buildings in Los Angeles to do security work; you know, spying on would-be shoplifters. He scraped and saved and did all he could do to stay in school. At one point, he was so poor that he had to sell his car and ride a motorcycle instead, to work and school. His mom got sick back home and he rode that thing all the way to Kansas and back so he could see her.

We parted ways when I was 20. Last I heard, he died from lung cancer at about 23 years of age. He got it from the astbestos in the rafters in those old buildings.

And he loved my wonky scarf.

He was someone who I would describe as scarf-worthy.

The Knitting Won't Let you Down (Unless you Allow it)

Today we were sitting there eating lunch discussing the fact that everything around us is falling apart. Honestly, it really is. So, HWWV says, I've been noticing that we have fewer and fewer glasses in the cupboard. And I say that they've been cracking and I have been throwing them away one by one. And then he says that he looks in the cupboard and then checks the dishwasher thinking that it must be needing to be emptied, but it doesn't. And then I say, same here.

And then he says, "I guess that means we will have to start drinking straight out of the bottle."

Amen.

But, the knitting, it usually doesn't let me down. The good thing about knitting is that, if it breaks, you can rip and re-knit. Shoot, there are people who routinely find second-hand sweaters and re-purpose the yarn by ripping the sweater, laundering the yarn, and re-knitting it into some other item.

I never understood people who lament, oh, my sweater is ruined! It doesn't fit! I made a mistake!

Friends, let's be real. It is knitting. It won't let you down unless YOU let IT down.

Amen.

P.S. My hat turned out fine.

Peace out.

(And another BTW: There's a giveaway at Stitch Diva for a copy of my book, Custom Knits 2, plus a discounted yarn kit for the Blithe Tee which appears in the book. Also watch for a podcast with my buddy Marly. It happens on Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. Listen to it live--before she has to edit out my bloopers!)