That's Why They Make Those Nasty Shawl Pins

I don't know about the shawl. What is it, anyway and how is it supposed to stay on? Do you have to knot it in front? Or do you throw it over your shoulder a la "big scarf" and hope you don't hit anyone behind you as you do so?

And what about the wind? Isn't a shawl supposed to keep you warm? But if there isn't any way to keep the thing on correctly in a big wind, then why are these things so popular?

Popular? I guess I wouldn't call them "popular," but they are sort of fun to knit up. That triangular shape is a breeze, really. And there's no memorizing, provided you aren't doing one of those fancier versions, the ones I think are really pretty but I am sure are supremely difficult to sex up.

That's the problem with the shawl. It's hard to sex them up. Not that I'm into being all that sexy, or anything, but I do like something to have some vibration, a little fun mixed in, you know?

And truly, you wouldn't want to be looking anything but your best when the Italians come barging into your house at 1:30 a.m.

You remember what happened: in they came, with a key from next door that just happened to fit in our lock, and not realizing they were in the wrong house until they noticed there wasn't a grand piano in the living room. And when the good-looking policeman came with his big flashlight to see what happened, all I had on was a discolored tank and some stupid blue flannel bottoms with dancing polar bears printed all over the place. Not a shawl or cardigan was available to hide the unattractive, saggy boob ensemble.

So I knitted this with Italian yarn, the Skacel Sirenetta from Elann.com. I actually quite like it. It's squishy and comfy, but definitely not sexy, and won't stay on unless I knot it up tight in front.

So what's a gal to do? I guess one idea would be to pose in front of the offending Italian's house, with your unbelievably high-heeled and cool red Gucci's, your new Cuisinart ice cream machine, your Mother's-Day-buffet-belly and your very cute dog, Chuck.

(Honestly, he's a great neighbor, a restauranteur, and was so sweet. He even dropped off a gift certificate for a dinner for three at one of his restaurants. I don't know; maybe I'll wear the shawl.)

Comments

[heather]

Hey! I have that same Ice cream machine!!
Although I would not look as sexy as you holding it in my backyard.
The shawl is perfect. I totally dig the Elmo tank and the Gucci's. They were made for each other! So chic!
Hope your Mother's Day was fantastic.

(that is one giant cat you got there)

[Pam]

Just found your blog and went through your "finished objects" and LOVE the Silk Garden colorway you used for your Clapotis. Do you have any idea which color# you used?

[carrie]

Those shoes are hot!

Cute shawl, too.

[Wendy]

I love your Gucci Shoes! And it looks like you managed to "Sex Up" the shawl to me.

W. :)

[Gina]

How chic...Cuisinart as a fashion accessory. I am digging it in a big way!

[Kim]

Shawls take sexy to a whole new level (not sure that we want to be at that level, but...). Call it a "wrap"- sounds much less like the little old lady on the bus.

I make mine as rectangles, then both sides will drape over my arms.

Dog looks excited about the sexy shawl anyway! :)

[Jo in Ottawa]

Find a couple of nice beads. Biggish. Heavy (glass maybe). Attach them to the points. You may want one at all three points. The idea is that the beads weight down the ends of the shawl helping it to stay on. They also add some interesting decoration.

Otherwise, learn how to make a Faroese shawl. they have shaped shoulders so they stay on better. There's a free pattern for a teddy bear sized one to try out on the HeartStrings website.

[Miz Booshay]

Oh my goodness!

Mothers-Day-buffet-belly.

You are hysterical!

Mama Mia tu scialle est bello!

[Lauren]

Why do you call the shawl pins nasty? I think a lot are absolutely gorgeous but way out of my budget.

[wendy]

Brooches are one thing, but the shawl pins with the exposed needles that go through a hole or loop or something, I think they're not so nice. But that may just be me...

[corine]

is it big enough to cross over your chest and tie in the back, under the point of the shawl? that ends in kind of a shrug look.

[wendy]

Yup! It's long enough! I can try that for sure, since I'm sorta hooked on shrugs.

[Skylar]

Ok, I am loving this shawl and I find your ensemble w/ Guccis very sexified! Woo hoo. I think shawls/wraps add a little mystery to the sexiness. Nothing like wearing an overtly sexy strapless dress w/ a cute little peekaboo shawl over it! It's the same effect as peering at someone through long eyelashes...

[wendy]

*does her best wolf whistle*

Ya sexed it up alrighty! Lolabrigida watch out! Wait she's dead..okay...Cuccinotta watch out! You wear it well dahlink!

[Rebekah]

Your right your dog is very cute, as far as keeping your shawl on, have you tried stapling it. Ouch., okay maybe not. I think it's an art form to keep a shawl on, but you don't get the secret until you reach age 72.

[froggy]

you ALWAYS look fabulous! great pic.

[erin]

Oh I have that problem with triangular shawls too - they keep slipping and sliding. But while you still manage to look chic and sophisticated (I think it's the winning combination of the matching Gucci and Cuisinart), I just look sloppy. But now I know the solution - red high heels, alas not Guccis -that would blow such a big hole in the bank account, the husband would notice (the hole, not the shoes!)!

[wendy]

I have to tell you, Erin, my husband bought these for me for Christmas about a million years ago, and I have only worn them three times. They are so high, that each and everytime I've worn them I've fallen down and pratically broke my leg.

[Gina]

I love the shawl!! Did you use a certain pattern?? Bright red shoes are always sexy! lol perfect combo!

[wendy]

Gina, all I did was cast on three stitches, then knit a row. Next row, K1, YO, Knit to end. Turn, K1, YO, Knit to end, and so on until it was done.

[Rosemary]

Hopelessly late to this party, I know, but have you seen the pins on my site? Love the Guccis, btw. :)