Hasn't it been said that there have been sightings of people who spontaneously combust? Blow up without any warning? Or catch fire without a heat source at all? I know, it all sounds kinda weird or crazy but I think that I'm getting ready to throw my better sense out the window and embrace the idea, because honestly, my reality is being tried, tried, tried.
It could be my imagination, so I may not be the most reliable of witnesses on the subject of the Carnival Shawl. But, the other night, I could swear I heard myself say in a natural and measured, light-hearted fashion: "By the way, mom, about the Shawl...I have all but four motifs completed..."
Blank look.
"...you know... That shawl. The one we were supposed to make together?..."
Blank look and a slight grin.
"...the one you did that little swatch for, but left for me to complete until your next visit? The one with the swirly crocheted motifs?...I'm almost done...I just need to sew the thing together, really..."
Blank look.
"You don't remember?...The Carnival Shawl? The one you picked out? Remember? The CARNIVAL SHAWL?"
Blank look.
Talk about me being the big, giant schmuck in this scenario. After a year of biting my lip, a year of feeling the guilty feelings, a year of hating the hook and the yarn more than one should. A year of being the biggest loser in the world's worst comedy skit known to man. I'm the boner. I'm the fool.
(Let's not mention that Carnival Shawl ever again. It is gone. It is out of my vocabulary. Bye! Go! Be gone! Bye! Tah tah! SeeeeeeeeYah big pile of yarn!)
BTW: Just finished this sleeveless shell. It'll bring on the fashion better than any old *you-know-what* and it's made out of some nifty cotton/silk blend I got from Kpixie awhile back. It's from Japan and won't make you think about anything *you-know*-related at all, especially since it's a quick knit and not made of a million crocheted motifs. All the shaping is achieved by darts. Yeah, I know, it's low-cut and all, but I'll let you know how to change the neckline. Or, you could wear something underneath, too, or just let it all hang out like I did, because, frankly, I haven't the strength to do otherwise. (Watch for the pattern on the Garter Belt.)
Oh, Wendy, I feel your pain. Knit through it.
Posted by: Dris | June 11, 2006 at 06:05 PM
Are you kidding me????!!! I can't even think of anything to say about that, that doesn't include a bunch of cussing. But this is your blog, so I'll keep it nice.
That sucks.
But, I must say your new top is magnificent, and I think I was right when I said before that you like to show your cleavage. ;)
You look very chic, and also? HOT!
Love the red too.
Posted by: heather | June 11, 2006 at 06:14 PM
Oh, no!
The shawl is on my to do list, but it seems to be on the bad karma list.
But the new project. WOW, that is beautiful.
Posted by: Lynae | June 11, 2006 at 06:25 PM
Oh...my...dear...
That's all I'm capable of right now.
Posted by: Dusa | June 11, 2006 at 06:37 PM
That's hilarious! All that worry for nothing. I guess, you live and you learn.
Posted by: Saun | June 11, 2006 at 06:37 PM
OH MY! Oy...
The top is cute, though.
Posted by: Kaity | June 11, 2006 at 06:50 PM
Wow. I'm so sorry about that thing none of us will mention again. May it all pass quickly.
The top is so very cute. And I like it low cut. If you've got it, flaunt it.
Posted by: Rachel | June 11, 2006 at 06:53 PM
awesome top. i've been looking for something like that.
spontaneously combust...yeah, i've witnessed that before...the time when one of my female friends found out she was pregnant and her boyfriend of several years blurted out "oh great! not YOU too!" come to find out, he was cheating on her with someone else and got that other girl pregnant, too. not a pretty sight. i had to book it out of there right quick or else i'd have been an innocent-bystander-turned-casualty-of-war.
Posted by: keohinani | June 11, 2006 at 07:06 PM
won't mention anything but my total adoration for the new top that you have done. I can't wait for the pattern!! I love the LOW cut!!
Posted by: Morgan | June 11, 2006 at 07:31 PM
Quick, put those motifs in the closet, deep in the closet and don't look back.
You and your top look slammin'...boobage and all:o) Very sexy.
Posted by: Ariane | June 11, 2006 at 07:36 PM
I love this sweater, I can't wait for the pattern to come along! Wonderful job and it shows *just* enough!
Posted by: Amanda | June 11, 2006 at 07:42 PM
Oh, boy. You poor thing. Shove those things away in a closet somewhere. (The carnival shawl motifs that is.) Better yet, find a big trash bag. That would have pissed me off.
Posted by: jill | June 11, 2006 at 07:43 PM
TATA indeed, grasshopper! Love the shell. As far as the other thing is concerned...what other thing? Nothing to see here folks, move along....
Posted by: fluttercrafts | June 11, 2006 at 07:47 PM
Woman, don't you dare make me break the knitting nightmare diet for that pattern. lol You need to wait another 2-3 weeks before putting that pattern up, please.
Gorgeous. Just simply gorgeous.
Posted by: sunflowerfairy | June 11, 2006 at 07:49 PM
Oh no she DIDN'T!!! I say burn it!! Very cute top. Another winner.
Posted by: Shar | June 11, 2006 at 07:57 PM
I love this top - I am so looking forward to making it.
Posted by: Darci | June 11, 2006 at 08:06 PM
I am completely floored. Really, somebody peel me off the linoleum. I suggest you finish the damn thing while she's still there, wrap yourself in it and not a stitch else, and parade it through the living room: "THIS shawl. Remember now?"
Love the shell. Adorable, and red to boot. Perhaps you should dye the shawl red to subvert it and make it yours...
Posted by: Lizbon | June 11, 2006 at 08:30 PM
Lizbon, you are genius. I would suggest the red-est of the Chinese reds. That should do the trick. And I won't even do my Mystic Tan first. Or shave. Or wash my hair. I'll just crawl out onto the floor wearing the thing, and they'll, well, just step over me on their way to tea.
Posted by: Wendy | June 11, 2006 at 08:33 PM
Well, not quite 300 comments yet, but the night is young. The nerve of some people!!
Your top looks smashing! I hope this is one knit you'll get some use of in the California climate. Mine's coming along slowly. But I got a great swatch on one of my machines today, so progress should be rapid.
Posted by: Elizabeth M. | June 11, 2006 at 08:37 PM
Sorry about the you-know-what....
I love that top, I have been looking for one just lilke that. Can't wait for the pattern!
Posted by: Melissa | June 11, 2006 at 08:47 PM
Breathe. Think about the loop-d-loop guy. Go get a massage.
And what a perfect top to re-ignite your FIERCE self.
Posted by: Shelagh | June 11, 2006 at 08:55 PM
I was going to second the "burn it" comment but draping yourself in it and nothing else would be a more spectacular end to the saga.
That shell is HOT. Can't wait to make one!
Posted by: Sue M | June 11, 2006 at 09:06 PM
loving the cleavage top. look forward to the pattern
Posted by: Allegra | June 11, 2006 at 09:14 PM
Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry about the...you know. I think you should mail the parts, pieces and extra yarn to her. You completed your part, doing the good DIL thing. Let her do what she will with it, in her own home.
The top is darling, dahlink!
Posted by: Susan | June 11, 2006 at 09:17 PM
Oh my. You really are having a time of it Wendy.
Ridiculous.
That shell is perfect for pre-dinner drinks. Perhaps HWWV can take you out before you combust!
Something should combust in that hot number!
Can't wait for the pattern.
Posted by: Miss Scarlett | June 11, 2006 at 09:33 PM