My Favorite Christmas Present, Ever.

It's a good thing I didn't finish any of my Christmas knitting except for that exceptionally tiny beret that ended up fitting my sister perfectly. It's a good thing because I am convinced that all that jazz about the big Christmas Knitting Deadline and the Will it Fit/Will They Like it Debate fluffs up the project so much in our minds that if, when the recipient finally opens their gift, they have a heart attack and go totally blind from from the joy of it all that our knit-gifting experience will never be exactly what we expect. I mean, really, let's be honest. A heart attack and total blindness--add to that a small amount of some sort of incontinence or maybe a swoon or two would fall just a tiny bit short of what we'd expect, once we add up all those skyscraper dreams, etc. that we graft into all those stitches, bulky or not.

Really. I have finally convinced myself that it is more about us rather than the people we knit for. We consider and reconsider what yarn or what pattern to knit, then we stack thought upon thought upon thought until the thoughts reach the skyscrapers and by the time the object is finished, we're sure upon all sureness in the universe that this thing will be so wonderful that no one could ever be disappointed by our efforts. Never mind our nagging thoughts that our mind-skyscraper just isn't tall enough. (And trust me, it will never be tall enough for us.)

Anyhow, like I said, it's a good thing I only finished one item. Or should I say, I only finished one knitted item. Seems, I finished a five pound or so jar of pistachio's, too, and I didn't realize until today that those pistachios are how residing on my belly and where my biceps used to be.

I swear, there were five people in this house snacking this whole month, and I think I was the only one who touched the pistachios.

On other news: I found a new loser. This thing was finished years ago, but it wasn't until about a day or two ago that I fessed up to myself that this was, indeed, a true loser. In the beginning, it was all about the ingenious design. A knitted tube! A knitted tube with sleeves! One that's knit in the round, and then knit flat, and then knit in the round again! What genius!

(Except it'll make you sweat like a pig with all that bunching up there under the arms. But that part is from memory. Try as I might, I forgot how to get the thing on.) We'll call it "The Rebecca, I forgot which Issue, Knitted Tube Nightmare in Elann.com Worsted Weight Don't-you-Dare-Wash Wool."

N.B., this pic was taken before I finished the pistachios.

Comments

[Stitch Sista]

I actually knit a tube, with a flat bit and then more tube. It didn't fit me, but my friend I gave it to says she wears it all the time! (either way I didn't have sky high expectations when gifting it so it wouldn't have mattered if she didn't, it was really just an experiment afterall)

[Tammy]

Oh... but it looks good on you!

[Darlene]

yep, tubes are big big no nos....i knitted a tube and thought it was so chic but it is hard to be objective after all that knitting. stay away from tubes! merry xmas!

[Darlene]

yep, tubes are big big no nos....i knitted a tube and thought it was so chic but it is hard to be objective after all that knitting. stay away from tubes! merry xmas!

[beth]

A great big tube could end up a skirt, if you just can't let go of knitting it. Unless you're not friends with the knitted skirt, either. A smaller tube could be a neck-warmer or cowl, but you're in warm weather. Too bad, too, 'cuz the idea of knitting a tube can be so appealing and seems so wrong that it doesn't work out.

[Kiyomi]

Delurking to say that I love your Frontier Blues Jacket in the new Knitscene.

[Miz Booshay]

Oh Wendy!!!!

What a priceless picture!!!

Yeah. The knitting is for us.

[Monique]

You got skates?!?!

[Wendy]

I got skates!!!!

[elizabeth m]

Yep, that's a loser. Even such a lovely stylin' gal as yourself cannot work that pair of tubes to advantage.

[Warrior Knitter]

I completely agree with you on the Christmas or any gift knitting. Which is why I don't knit anything for anybody as a "gift". I may knit you a pair of socks or a scarf or shawl but it's not a gift. I saw it, thought of you, and !# (flash! bang!) there it is. For you.

[Beverly]

I agree--gift knitting is all about us, not the recipient. I only knitting 2 gifts this year, and when I gave them to their recipients, both women were sufficiently amazed and thankful, but I was sure to tell them that the gifts were really all about me and my sanity--they just get to have the spoils.

[MonkeyGurrl]

I managed to knit four (4!!!) holiday gifts, but, in my defense (1) I didn't plan on it; and (3) 3 of the 4 were the same thing (in different yarns) and really, really easy. The 4th was my first felted purse, and that was quick and easy.

The Tube and rollerskates seem like a quirky prediliction. Only in Cali, baby.

[Stephanie]

You are totally spot on. The holiday knitting...it is for us. I knit to stay sane...then I go insane because I have to knit. It's a catch 22. But I do it every year. I don't know if I can give it up. It's like knitting crack. I'm totally addicted. I tell myself I'm not going to do it anymore...and then give in and fail miserably. Is there a 12 step program?

[Magalie]

Time for a new Ravelry group: Roller-Sk8r Knitters!!

[Scrapper]

Dude..I kept slightly burning batches of x-mas cookies that were supposed to be gifts and me and the DSB took it apon ourselves to eat the burnt ones...now my pj's (that were big and baggy) don't really fit me anymore....ugh I started my diet yesterday.

[Lisa]

HEY! Tubes were cool in the 90's - it's a skirt, no, it is a top, no, it's a wide belt, no it's a head band! Blame it on the 90's.

[Martha]

What beautiful skates! I used to ice skate, so I can appreciate the boots, at least.

Oh! I just thought up a way for a SoCal girl to wear sweaters! The ice rink!

Tell me more about your skating adventures!

[Maureen]

Well, if you don't look good in a tube, no one will.
How about calling it some kind of kitty environment/maze/toy/bed thingie.
On the pistachio problem, depending upon how good a skater you are, you may be happy for a little more cushion on your keester.

[Gina]

It seems that quite a few of your losers have come courtesy of Rebecca Magazine...
Happy Holidays!

[Yenni]

You write so well. It is a joy to read!
(I like your designs too. :o))

[donnalee]

I knit for other folks but on my schedule. If I make something and decide to give it away it is because the other person has expressed some great interest in said object. The skates bring back memories of Sat afternoons spent at the local skating rink. It was the first place I got to hold a boy's hand! Goosebumps!

[Lizbon]

There's a reason they used to call TVs boob tubes...

I adore pistachios.

[soo]

Well, count me out of your collective 'we' thanks.

I knit the gifts I did this year FOR the people I knit them for -- I don't need to knit for other people to justify my hobby. I knit gifts in response to hints and requests and good ideas I had while falling asleep. Pretty much the same way that I decide to buy gifts for the people I buy them for. Or bake them or make them out of lego....

I'm happy to report that all of the gifts I made were gratefully received. As were the ones I bought. (I didn't make any out of lego -- maybe next year.)

[hannahbelle]

I've got skates, too - though not for Christmas. I used to do competition rollerskating - the same as on ice, but on wheels.

Congrats on your skates, they're very pretty :D